Fat was steadily creeping into my body. Like a home invasion. No matter what I ate, regardless of any exercise I did, the weight just piled on. I was being intruded! How am I supposed to defend myself FROM myself?
I suffered from PCOS for many years. In the midst of gaining nearly 100lbs, I developed stretch marks that looked like a tiger clawed me from side to side. In fact, I used to think of my stretch marks as battle wounds. The vicious tiger named PCOS who captured my body. With every stretch mark I felt pain. I could literally feel my skin tear as the tiger claws of PCOS were digging into my body. It was very painful.
Everything I knew about myself had been turned upside down. The worst part was the people I used to know. They were slowly starting to acknowledge my weight gain.
I will NEVER forget this moment....
I was at my best friend's house and her cell phone rang. It was her father, and he knew me very well. He didn't know I was in the room, nor did he know he was on speaker. The conversation was about college; routine stuff.
"How's school? Have you received your grades yet?"
"No Dad, but soon," she replied.
"Oh, ok. So, what's new? I see Jen got really fat!"
She looked at me with sad and embarrased eyes. She had witnessed everything. She knew it wasn't my fault, but she had no other choice but to confirm.
I immediately ran to the balcony to let the fresh morning air cool my red hot face from embarrassment. I stared out to the distance, seeing nothing because I was looking behind a waterfall of tears. With blurry vision and emotions erupting inside of me, I let out a wailing sob. I couldn't control it. People watched me from the street as my body collapsed to the ground and I bawled my heart out on my best friend's balcony.
This was just the beginning. As I grew more and more uncomfortable with myself, so did others. Even if I was still me on the inside, nobody would ever treat me the same again.
So I decided that I wouldn't treat myself the same, either.
After gaining nearly 100lbs while suffering from PCOS, my journey to lose weight has finally ended and my love and appreciation for healthy but delicious food has just begun. This my story on how I lost nearly 90lbs while still completely indulging in life.