High-school. We hated it and loved it at the same time, didn't we? When we were attending high-school, we couldn't wait to graduate and get the hell out. But do you ever catch yourself thinking, "Man, I wish I was still in high-school!"
I sure do, all the time. Why? Because you could clean your clothes off my washboard abs and bounce a coin off of my ass. Let's be honest, most of us wish we had our high-school body back. Especially me. At 18, I weighed 120lbs and could make a garbage bag look like haute couture. I started modeling and was signed to an agency within only a few months after moving to Atlanta. I had the world in the palm of my hands, I could accomplish anything, my confidence could move mountains. I was untouchable.
And then, in what feels like the blink of an eye, I weighed an outstanding 221lbs. I was sick, fat and suffocating under the dirt of depression. The woman I knew and loved was dead. I no longer recognized the reflection I saw in the mirror. My entire life had changed, from the cheer of my personality all to the way I had to wash my body in the shower. I had to relearn basic things like putting on clothing, how I used the bathroom, and what position would allow me to sleep comfortably in my bed. I started asking myself questions like, "Can I fit in that chair?" and "Will I be the only fat person there?" My social life quickly became nonexistent. I couldn't go out and dance, and constantly feared there would not be a place for me to sit because my legs couldn't carry all the extra weight for too long. Let's not even get started on finding clothing that I felt attractive in! To me, it wasn't even worth it to go out and have fun anymore. Social anxiety was brewing inside of me and by the end of the year I was so consumed by anxiety that it became a part of my personality. I barely left my apartment. I couldn't even go outside to walk my dog. I would literally stand at my front door and watch her run to the nearby grassy area, and then call for her to return. I had hit rock bottom.
With my health deteriorating, my skin stretching and the fat still accumulating in my body, I had to see a doctor. I was suffering from excessive menstrual cramping and bleeding and an ultrasound revealed an unknown mass in my uterus. The first thing my doctor said to me was obvious yet still heartbreaking. She said, "Jenna, you need to lose weight."
Well, duh! Doesn't she know who I used to be? Has she no clue who I am? - That's what I was thinking. But now, I finally had to face the facts: To the world, I was FAT.
I WAS FAT! And not only was I fat, but I was SICK. My doctor diagnosed me with PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
WebMD's definition of PCOS: "Polycystic ovary syndrome (say "pah-lee-SIS-tik OH-vuh-ree SIN-drohm") is a problem in which a woman's hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. PCOS also may cause unwanted changes in the way you look. If it isn't treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease."
And it also states, "PCOS is the most common hormonal disorder in women of childbearing age and can lead to issues with fertility. Women who have PCOS have higher levels of male hormones and are also less sensitive to insulin or are "insulin-resistant." Many are overweight or obese. As a result, these women can be at a higher risk of diabetes , heart disease, sleep apnea, and uterine cancer." (http://www.webmd.com/women/guide/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos-and-weight-gain)
So, now I knew what was causing my weight gain, and I knew what was preventing me from losing that weight. The only thing I had left to do was dedicate my time to becoming healthier.
This blog is my story, my struggle and my success. If you feel like you are constantly battling against your weight, or you suffer from PCOS as well, please join me as I share with you the secrets I've discovered in losing over 80lbs and counting!
After gaining nearly 100lbs while suffering from PCOS, my journey to lose weight has finally ended and my love and appreciation for healthy but delicious food has just begun. This my story on how I lost nearly 90lbs while still completely indulging in life.